Author: Nidara

Some thoughts about winter and in-betweeness.

(Image description: A photo of a lone, bare tree in a vast expanse of white snow and sky.) Credit: Photo by Fabrice Villard on Unsplash

Winter is officially here, and it certainly came in with gusto! Much of North America experienced colder than usual temperatures and weather, which had some side effects on some of the local infrastructure. Thankfully, the issue is in the process of being resolved.

The solstice and the recent flamekeeping shift went smoothly enough, but now that weird period of time between Christmas and New Year’s has arrived. Time seems wibbly-wobbly, and days now run together.

This strange time was nicknamed “the daft days”, originating with the eponymous poem The Daft Days written by Robert Fergusson. It covers the time after Christmas through to the first Monday after the New Year, also known as Handsel Monday. The poem simultaneously mourns the temporary death of nature, revels in Yuletide merrymaking, and finally warns the celebrants and the reader to beware of the Black Guard, the authorities who would quell the overabundance of merriment.

Overall, the daft days serve as a liminal break between the Old Year and the New Year, indicated by winter’s silence but also the reveries carried out in homes. These stand as markers, the two points at which we exist within the season.

During my flamekeeping shift, I did a “walk” on the spiral hand labyrinth I have. Compared to other labyrinth designs out there, it’s relatively simple, but it served its purpose. “Liminality” was the intention I focused on while using my non-dominant hand to trace the grooves. The experience wasn’t immensely transformational, but I did learn a bit about what liminal can mean.

In those moments, liminality can be quiet and full of potential. It’s the moment before you take a leap into a pool or off a cliff. You could even consider it a leap of faith, in the appropriate context. It is both a rest point and a catalyst.

With these concepts in mind, they had me pause to think of the Fire Festivals, the liminal points in between the solstices and the equinoxes. The upcoming Imbolc stands between winter and spring, carrying with it the new potential for wildlife, livestock, nature, and the spirit. Bealtaine is a plentiful period, letting us grow and thrive. Lúnasa brings the harvest for both food and the self, so that we can acknowledge how far we’ve come. Samhain begins the cycle anew as we’ve harvested what we’ve gained and learned for a hopefully better future.

These aren’t traditional viewpoints, but there’s merit to more deeply understanding the seasons and points in between them. With them, we learn more about gratitude, the inner workings of nature, and ourselves in connection to it all.

Thoughts on the past few months and the near future.

(Image description: A photo of a wintertime arrangement. A lit tealight candle is in the center of a few pinecones, evergreen twigs, eucalyptus leaves, and other seasonal plants on a tray with decorative scrollwork. A black cloth is placed nearby.) Credit: Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

With another turn of the wheel, it’s the day that winter officially starts. I looked back at the last Winter Solstice post and chose to go over my ogam reading from from Samhain.

As mentioned in the previous year’s Yuletide post, death and grieving are still a prevalent theme during this season. My late cat, Mystic, is still on my mind from time to time, and I have still sensed her presence occasionally. Perhaps it’s only memories playing tricks on my mind, but these feelings still have meaning to me.

There’s also familial health issues that are ever present in my life. The appearance of Úr, a letter linked to the Earth and transitions, could be related to this, but I hesitate to only focus on that single aspect of the reading. Its presence might be related to current events, but it likely isn’t the only transition happening in my life between now and the next time I do a reading.

However, I don’t wish to only focus on the sadness in my life. Winter is literally and metaphorically showing up in my life, but there’s joy still to be found there. It’s a time of being inside more often and focusing on warm meals, crafting, storytelling, and so on. I hope that the coming season will have times where I can spend my time doing these things.

Overall, I believe I mostly understand the meaning of the Samhain reading. In Erynn Rowan Laurie’s book, Ogam: Weaving Word Wisdom, the author offers questions to reflect upon. Ruis relates to strong emotions, referring back to its kenning of red. The question inquires about what I am passionate about passions and how focusing on those passions can benefit or hurt me.

Given the next two letters of Lus and Úr, these letters inquire of me how will I be inspired and what will I need to give up in order to progress in my path. I see this as Brighid asking me to focus my passion into my path with Her and the transitions that will come along with my deeper focus and to become more grounded in it.

With a little over a month until Imbolc, there’s still more insight to be gained from the reading. However, like the returning sun, there’s more illumination and knowledge to better learn about my path.

As for celebrations, I’m doing another impromptu flamekeeping shift and “walk” with a finger labyrinth, along with hearty food and offerings to Brighid. Also, this post will likely be somewhat of a two-part post, as my next regular flamekeeping shift occurs on Christmas Day. I want to integrate the winter festivities into that.

Until then, may you have a merry and blessed Yuletide season!

A lectio divina session with rosemary.

(Image description: A close-up photo of a green rosemary plant.) Credit: Photo by GKVP on Unsplash

Lectio Divina with Rosemary

Fierce bush, flame-like

sturdy in drought

lush in plenty

The touch of rosemary

rain-touched, yet sticky with sap

soft and cloying

Its evergreen leaves,

delicate blades

placed in hardy limbs

The scent nostalgic

refreshing memory

earthy and cleansing

The faint whisper of fingers

tracing over leaves, echoing

in the past and future

The tease of mint and wood,

almost burning in its flavor

as it reaches my tongue

Common yet striking,

humble and holy,

as a friend at Her hearth

A seasonal poem of opposites.

(Image description: A photo of an abstract image of blue water flowing through orange fire.) Credit: Photo by Adam Kring on Unsplash

Juxtaposition

Drought’s bowing

to the relief of rain

emerald against brown

The dying and the bursting

last spurts of greenery

against the mudbrown-black ground

Shouts of color

amber, gold fluttering

against the somber evergreen

Golden slats peeking

through the darkening

glimpses of hope in the gloaming

Teases of spring in the air

reminders that this too will pass

after the long, dark wait

The play of fire and water

juxtaposed sources of life

hinting of Your return

Ariana Serpentine delivers with this highly-needed and perceptive look into gender from an animist viewpoint.

(Image description: A photo of the reviewed book. The black book cover features a rainbow-hued flower of life within two overlapping pentagons, with the transgender symbol woven into the image. The title Sacred Gender is placed in the middle of the design with the author’s name, Ariana Serpentine above and subtitle Create Trans & Nonbinary Spiritual Connections below. A decorative border surrounds all of it.) Credit: Photo by me.

It’s been a while since I did a book review, and the one I selected to do was released earlier this month through Llewellyn Publications. The book is Sacred Gender: Create Trans & Nonbinary Spiritual Connections by Ariana Serpentine.

Going by the title, some readers might not have interest in the book, but I think it’s a valuable resource for anyone of any gender and any age. It’s worth keeping an open mind, as that trait is generally important to have if you’re on any sort of Polytheistic Monastic path. There’s always something new to learn about the spiritual world and yourself.

The book features six chapters and an appendix with many, in-depth exercises and rituals that revolve around the pertinent maxim of “Know thyself”. This adage is well known enough to surface in pop culture in film franchises like The Matrix tetralogy, but there’s not always an accessible method for doing this. The author aims to have the reader explore the Self through the concept of gender and beyond it.

Serpentine lays this journey out in steps that build upon one another. She goes over different gender terminology, from what is more commonly known to the deeper intricacies within those definitions. A part within some of the anecdotal explanations that was quite beautiful was the idea of using facets of nature in a poetic sense to describe how gender feels. Applying this approach feels very much in line with Brighid the Poet.

One of the many draws to the Pagan and Polytheist movements was and is the broader understanding and honoring of the Divine. In the past decades and even today, there were and are limitations to these concepts that excluded gender diversity in deities, spirits, and their devotees. These issues are discussed in the historical context of earlier feminism movements and how they can be corrected for the better of individuals and communities. Hospitality is an important value within several Polytheistic traditions, and it seems unkind to keep people out if they don’t fall into a certain mold.

Continuing on that thread, the book delves into ancestor veneration and seeing the gods through a transgender viewpoint. A big part of honoring ancestors, whether of blood, land, or spirit, is talking with them. In one of the exercises, the author poignantly suggests associating the stars as a focus for communicating with the masculine, feminine, and nonbinary ancestors. The image of tuning out external noise, gazing at those distant points of light, and conversing with the Dead feels comforting and works nicely with a contemplative practice.

Later on, she discusses deities who don’t easily categorize into a male or female binary from Anatolian, Norse, and Greek cultures and invites devotees to view other gods in a similar fashion. While Brighid has many feminine attributes in the lore, I think of The Seven Elements Prayer in the Clann Bhríde Book of Hours that doesn’t really pertain to gender at all; after all, the name Brighid (and its variations) simply means exalted, high, or lofty and is an epithet for a powerful, inspiring, and compassionate force.

The last parts bring the knowledge learned from the previous chapters together with questions for how gender can affect identity through personal belongings, communities, ancestors, and more. Gender is less of a focus in this book but more of a jumping off point to self-discovery. It can be a means of understanding your links with your ancestors, your body, nature, and the universe, rather than just a label you were given on your birth certificate.

I give Sacred Gender 5 out of 5 stars.

A prayer for seeking the sacred wisdom of the Self.

(Image description: A photo of a white boat on a blue body of water with gentle waves.) Credit: Photo by Oliver Cole on Unsplash

Pilgrimage of the Self

Seated in my boat, oarless

I pray to You, Navigator,

Lantern of my Heart.

As I embark from the shore,

I ask that You, Soul-friend,

aid me in my journey.

The way is unknown

but not insurmountable,

as You are my Guide.

Let Your radiance shine on my mind

and open my eyes to my Self,

that I may learn the paths of my soul.

May Your sacred ears

hear of the truths and stories

that I find on my trek.

Inspire me with deep understanding,

to see facets of my inner Self,

a holy place within my heart and mind.

As it was,

as it is,

as it ever shall be.

A poem after beholding a rainy day.

(Image description: A photo of a brown leaf floating in rainwater. Another leaf floats in front of it, while orange light reflects off the surface.) Credit: Photo by John Noonan on Unsplash

Rainy Day Beholding

The gentle patter

soft drip-drop steps

against earth and roof

Heavy, looming clouds

draping the sky, cloaking

with a peaceful gloom

Old Gods racing chariots

hooves rumbling, pounding

thrumming in my mind

Rains running, cleansing

washing away the old

for new cycles unfolding

Gray, blanketing

with mind just as unclear

choices that must be made

Divine steeds charging

thundering over plains

humming in my mind

Chariot wheels spinning

my mind equally turning

striving for insights

Clarity in raindrops

seeping, pouring

that my mind may see

A prayer in honor of the recent total lunar eclipse.

(Image description: A photo of the moon in four stages of an eclipse. The first one is partly red and partly shining. The next one is a vivid red, while the remaining two are covered by increasing darkness. Stars and wispy, cosmic gases are seen in the dark background.) Credit: Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

Lunar Eclipse Prayer

Brighid of Moonlight,

transform Your radiance

to reflect crimson light

in Your sacred waters,

like fiery tendrils dancing.

Brighid of the Fire-in-Water,

may the moon’s glow

inspire us to seek,

to know and to grow,

as tides stoking the flames.

Brighid of Smithcraft,

illuminate the moon

like a burning coal in the sky,

to shape, to strengthen,

when our hearts’ mettle is tested.

Brighid of Healing,

imbue the moonlight

shining in Your wells

with clarity and vigor,

so that our minds aren’t clouded.

Brighid of Poetry,

inspire our hands and hearts

to push the darkness away,

as a lantern, a beacon,

like moonlight upon a path.

Brighid of the Ancestors,

foster wisdom within us

to enlighten us to kindness,

the proper rhythms against injustice,

like the placement of Earth, moon, and sun.

As it was,

as it is,

as it ever shall be.

A simple Samhain observance.

(Image description: A photo of a light blue, metal lantern. The lantern has a heart-shaped glass panel. A lit candle is shining inside with a dark background around the lantern.) Credit: Photo by Cathal Mac an Bheatha on Unsplash

For Samhain, I held a flamekeeping shift to honor Brighid. A realization I had was that part of Samhain also falls on All Saints’ Day, so that works nicely with St. Brigid. With recent events, the festival was more of a somber occasion than what might be about all things eerie and fun for many Pagans and Polytheists.

A while ago, I talked about my cat Mystic being ill, and she passed earlier in October. As such, I left her a saucer of milk as an offering of hospitality to her. I also shared a meal with family.

Later on, I had lit my lantern and offered Brighid water, incense, and a poem. In contrast to other poems I’ve shared, this one felt more conversational in tone. I’ve posted it below.

Heart to Heart

My hear is weighed.

As much as I would like to,

no guising or Hallowtide frivolity

has lifted my spirits.

I wonder, after Ruadan passed,

did Your father ever try to

raise Your spirits, so that

Your bright fire shone like the sun once more?

Or did He sit quietly with You?

To listen,

to talk,

to simply be?

I like to envision His doing that for You.

The truth is, Time doesn’t heal all wounds.

It scabs and it scars.

Eventually, these will fade,

perhaps even the memory.

All I can do is to hold

these things in my heart, my soul,

is to sit with them,

listening,

talking,

simply being.

With them and with You.

Afterward, I did a three feda reading for the next few months until Imbolc. I received Ruis, Lus, and Úr. As with any reading, this one could have varying interpretations, but I have a general idea of what these feda mean.

The first part concerns passionate emotions, so it may mean I need to try to avoid letting my emotions get out of hand in stressful situations. However, its proximity to Lus, a letter I see as strongly connected to Brighid, may indicate pouring my passion into my devotions to Her. How it relates to Úr is also uncertain. It could indicate some manner of transition over the next few months. Time will tell what the overarching meaning of these foci are.

Additionally, NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) has officially started, so now is time to begin on my novel (or whatever work it will turn into). I will do my best to keep you updated on my progress.

Have a blessed and happy Samhain season!

A poem about sacred moments in darkness.

(Image description: A photo of a hand holding a lit tealight candle in its palm, with the fingers slightly curled. The hand is surrounded by darkness.) Credit: Photo by Eyasu Etsub on Unsplash

Blessed Darkness

A frustrating blackout

is a moment in time

that holds secrets, sacred enigmas.

The cloaking shadows behind your eyes

lull you into into wonder-filled lands,

places of adventure and potential.

The darkness carries a heavy silence, containing

a cricket’s chirp and primordial beginnings,

small and grand glints of infinity.

The flicker of candlelight against the dark

is a monk’s lantern, giving life

to the golden, many-hued forms on the pages.

A cozy, dark den cradles a fox family,

the roots and moss a canopied bed,

a lullaby of rustling tails and soft breaths.

Murky depths surround the sunlit paradises

of the spirits and the Beloved Dead,

lands of eternal beauty and life.

The shade of the new moon conceals

the returning blessing of its silvery light,

as the cycle turns from summer to winter.

Times of darkness reveal truths,

the sanctity of bright havens,

woven into its very fibers.