Author: Nidara

  • The Illuminating Spark: Monastic Attire

    My thoughts on what I would possibly wear as a votary.

    (Image description: A photo of a light-skinned model with long, wavy, brown hair. She wears a gray scarf draped over her head, while she holds one part across her chest. She stands against a black background.) Credit: Photo by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

    One of the most visible signs within different forms of monasticism are the garments monks and nuns wear. Most often, simple colors come to mind, while brighter hues can also be seen. They are the professional uniforms for different traditions, but they also indicate unity within their communities and mark their distinction within society.

    To my knowledge, there aren’t any specified robes, veils, or other apparel for Pagan or Polytheist Monastics. What I have seen is people following their intuition and creating their own sacred vestments. Also, some prefer to wear everyday clothing with some religious jewelry of their path.

    A while ago, I discussed my veiling practice and what it meant to me. I still consider wearing a head covering of various types to be part of my monastic practice, even though it is only a marker that’s recognized by myself.

    At this point in time, the rest of my garments fall within everyday wear. There is some benefit to having simple, modern clothing as part of a monastic wardrobe, as not every occasion will call for robes, veils, or related clothing.

    A monastic path can be focused on inner work rather than pointing out to others about what your spiritual profession is and is sometimes safer, depending on where the monk, nun, or votary lives. Additionally, wearing regular clothes can make you feel as part of the community you might be serving, as some orders of Catholic nuns have opted to do.

    I’m interested in developing my own habit at some point, but what follows is speculation on what it might look like. My idea on the matter could change later in the future.

    With the looseness of many monastic robes, they have a tendency to neutralize the wearer’s gender. After all, a monastic oath doesn’t necessarily rely on an emphasis on the religious person’s gender. In a way, having garments that don’t define bodily features can encourage less concerns about fitting into mainstream viewpoints on beauty or fashion. On the other hand, someone else may decide to incorporate bright colors, patterns, or other details.

    As such, the structure of the garments I envision are up in the air. I like the idea of a tunic paired with a monastic scapular, perhaps with a skirt or loose trousers. In the summer, a sleeveless version would be appropriate to keep cool with or to be placed over contemporary clothing.

    A functional feature would be to have pockets stitched underneath or along the sides, based on the personal preferences. A woven or leather belt could also be used to hold pouches.

    Many monastic robes are often composed of one or two colors. I’m torn on whether I would want green as the main color or have them vary by season. Green does have some Brigidine connections to the color of oak leaves in spring and as a commonly associated color with Brighid’s mantle. A detail that appeals to me is to have embroidery or applique of oak leaves on the scapular.

    I would want veils to be simple to put on, either draped and pinned with a Brighid’s cross brooch or wrapped around the head to keep hair out of the way. Footwear would also vary, based on the needs of the weather or for comfort.

    These are some initial ideas of what a Brigidine Polytheistic votary’s attire would appear as, and there is room for the designs to evolve, much like the rest of my path does.

  • The Illuminating Spark: Pilgrimage of My Heart(h)

    Lúnasa musings for the coming season.

    (Image description: A close-up photo of dark purple grapes hanging from a vine. They are surrounded by green leaves.) Credit: Photo by Jodie Morgan on Unsplash

    The holiday was been spent tending the flame and focusing on a small ritual. I offered Brighid water, lavender incense, flame and a poem that I have included below.

    One of the traditional practices for Lúnasa is to go on pilgrimages to holy wells or sacred mountaintops. I have no such places to visit, but my hermitage is a place that can serve that purpose. My practice is a sojourn that’s always in progress, with Brighid as my guide.

    Pilgrimage of My Heart(h)

    I hear the Call

    its source at the top

    of a sacred mountain

    The trek, with

    its destination unknown

    the Voice calls to me

    A pilgrimage fraught

    with highs and lows,

    obstacles and peace

    The path, spiraling

    to the summit

    the way arduous, yet tranquil

    Reaching the peak

    I find my hearth

    Your home in my heart

    The flicker of Your flame

    matching to the beat

    of my heart

    Walking across the threshold

    one foot in, one foot out,

    the quiet padding a gentle hymn

    I take up my tools,

    waiting to feel the joy

    and Your imbas flow through

    More to know,

    more to learn,

    The journey endless

    as You beckon me on

    in the pilgrimage

    of my heart(h).

    Once the offerings were given, I pulled a fid to focus on until Samhain. The letter I selected was Muin. It is associated with communication, love, trickery, and esteem; its associated plant is the vine, most notably grapevines.

    In the last post, I discussed an ogam reading I did on the issue of whether I should approach other deities, Brighid was very clear on the matter, and I feel like She wants me to become more serious about Polytheistic Monasticism with Her as the focus. The letter indicated in the most recent reading relates back to that one in a few ways.

    I can only guess how these emotions and skills might relate to my life and my practice over the next few months. However, it could include the effort of finding my focus in my writing and putting in the effort to strengthen and improve its effectiveness. It may serve as a reminder to be kind with my words, as you never know when they can be mistaken or too harsh.

    Perhaps, Muin may also indicate the effort needed in pursuing a monastic path. Grape vines work their way around and secure themselves in order to support the sometimes hefty weight of their fruit. The vine courses its path in surprising routes, like its own form of pilgrimage.

    The connection of the harvest season and of grapes also adds meaning to the fid that I pulled. Effort can bear fruit, but I also have to be careful about not becoming too absorbed in various emotions that are detrimental to monasticism.

    Time will tell what Muin’s energies will teach me.

    May you have a blessed Lúnasa season!

  • The Illuminating Spark: Returning to the Roots

    Musings on my contract with Brighid.

    (Image description: A close-up photo of a tree’s roots. The old tree leans slightly to the left with many of its roots exposed. Other trees are seen in the background, with the sun spreading its rays through the trees and to the forefront of the image.) Credit: Photo by Nicole Geri on Unsplash

    With Lúnasa a week away, the holiday’s themes have become more noticeable as it gets closer. Playing games and enjoying the products of the first harvest are among them. One of those matters is keeping contracts.

    As I’ve mentioned previously, I renew my dedication to Brighid every Bealtaine. Doing so feels more meaningful than simply doing it once and leaving it at that. The dedication reminds me of that connection to Her and what She would have me do for myself and for the world, however small it might be.

    I had the desire to reach out to a couple Brythonic deities, Brigantia and Nodens, out of curiosity’s sake.

    I’m aware that there’s the viewpoint that Brighid and Brigantia are completely separate deities. However, I think, at the very least, They are connected to healing, protection, the hearth, and the home. I’ve seen those attributions in both divination I’ve done and the known iconography and inscriptions depicting Brigantia. The fact She’s identified with Minerva possibly indicates other shared realms of influence with Brighid, but I digress. With time, I may find that Their natures are closer than I realized.

    As for Nodens, I was drawn to His associations with the weather, healing, and the eyes, to name a few. I feel these domains are also ones that overlap with Brighid’s ties to healing of the eyes and Her talent of calming storms.

    I recently did a couple ogam readings for clarification and where Brighid stood on the matter. Her opinion on it was rather clear on the second one.

    I did a single tile reading and then a three tile reading on the Oghamntis app. I received Ruis for the first one and then Ruis, Sail, and Gort.

    The fact that Ruis appeared twice felt like a very strong no. The letter’s connection to red reminded me of a red stop sign; proceed no further. The other two letters offered more insight as to what Brighid wanted from me.

    Sail’s links with timing, due to the word kennings’ of bee activity and the ancestors, tells me that now’s not the proper time to reach out to other deities. Its keyword of flow shows me to be at ease and not to go against the current and not find my spiritual needs fulfilled elsewhere. I feel Brighid is leading me where I need to go. Perhaps it’s related to spiritual discernment and worrying less about the future.

    Gort is related with gardens and other places of growth, safety, and peace. It brings to mind the gardens monks, nuns, and votaries would tend to as part of their religious duties. This letter also has ties to timing, through the feeding seasons for cattle and the growing season. With the reading’s proximity to a harvest festival, the seasonal abundance is appropriate.

    With Sail’s watery associations, the letter could easily refer to a creek or stream nourishing the garden. It’s a place of tranquility and introspection, appropriate traits for contemplation found within monasticism.

    I suppose I can feel like a bit of an oddball as a Polytheist with such a narrow focus. However, that’s who I am. From my standpoint, understanding Her nature and having a devotional relationship with Brighid is the core of what Brigidine Polytheistic Monasticism is.

    Reminding myself of that foundation occasionally is important. She has sway over many domains, which is likely why She’s such a popular goddess and saint. There might come a time when I honor other deities, but She’s the one I’m the most comfortable with and most drawn to. As the harvest season approaches, my understanding of my bond with Her has become clearer.

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  • The Illuminating Spark: Awaiting Lúnasa

    A poem inspired by the recent drought and the approaching festival.

    (Image description: A photo of an evergreen tree’s branch covered in raindrops, with an out of focus, green background.) Credit: Photo by Paul Beesley on Unsplash

    Awaiting Lúnasa

    Earth’s sorrow* drawing near

    with days of endless sun

    and cracked, arid soil

    Orb-weaver perched by her ladder

    bobbing in the wind, a deceptive

    respite from the heat

    Pine tree limbs breaking

    under their parched burdens,

    enduring silently

    Insects drifting in the sky,

    like sailors lost at sea,

    yearning for freshwater

    As the month closes,

    hopes rise to the air,

    urgent prayers for relief.

    Promised days of thunder,

    wind, and soaking rain,

    replenishment found in millions of drops

    Come, Harvest Maiden,

    aid us with Your healing graces,

    with Your gentle touch.

    For gray clouds,

    heavy with waters,

    to ease the strife and thirst

    *Lúnasa’s older name, Brón Trogain, translates to the Earth’s sorrow.

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  • The Illuminating Spark: Disabled Brighid

    A poem exploring the matter of St. Brighid’s headaches.

    (Image description: A photo of a light-skinned person with long, dark hair. They wear a long, black hood, dark red, laced top, and a silver triquetra necklace. The background is a snowy forest.) Credit: Photo by petr sidorov on Unsplash

    One of the details in St. Brighid’s hagiographies refers to Her as having headaches. To my knowledge, the headaches’ symptoms weren’t specified, so I took some liberties while writing this poem, suitable for Disability Pride Month. It’s possible that St. Brighid had an invisible disability. Also fitting, the Brighid’s mantles or ribbons left out for Imbolc/St. Brighid’s Day were said to heal headaches, among other illnesses.

    Disabled Brighid

    Were there days you didn’t walk the land, Brighid?

    Days where Your headaches left You listless, bedridden

    Days forcing You to heavily lean on Your staff,

    in order to endure the days of Your wonders

    Pain ‘round your eyes so terrible

    that Your mantle’s hood was a mercy to You

    Vertigo so swaying, akin to being in a curragh

    the bed a refuge against the dreadful waves

    Even with Your ever-present faith,

    healing wasn’t quick, but a crawl

    Days spent in labor and effort,

    only to leave You reeling again

    The joy and humor in Your heart,

    Your aides during You and Your sisters’ work

    The headache-free days a blessing,

    with a prayer sent heavenward in thanks

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  • The Illuminating Spark: Finding Joy in Darkness

    Some musings about finding sources of hope in difficult times.

    (Image description: A photo of three, rustic-looking oracle cards on a black cloth with two shades of blue Celtic knotwork overlapping each other. The first card is The Curragh, with the second and third cards being Honey and Lady’s Mantle.) Credit: My work.

    Lately, every day feels like another day of something awful happening. Another day of “what else can go wrong?” In reality, this mindset isn’t the case.

    Even in difficult times, tasks still have to be taken care of, whether that’s a job, a grocery store trip, or laundry. It’s the mundane in the midst of all the mayhem.

    However, I have to remind myself that I need to find joy in some way to keep going. It’s all too easy to get into a routine and not have anything to break up the monotonous nature of it all. So, what can I do to bring measures of happiness into my life?

    Reading and drawing were a couple of my favorite activities to do as a child. Unfortunately, those hobbies have significantly fallen by the wayside. I want to change that, even if it has to be done in baby steps.

    A recent oracle reading had me pull three cards instead of the usual one, and all of them had relevance to the matter of bringing joy into my life despite the steady stream of upsetting current events.

    The first card I received was The Curragh, which symbolizes freedom. It calls back to when St. Brigid had Her fellow nuns take the corners of Her mantle and go as far as they could in order to attain land for their convent.

    In the US, this message seems ironic and even hard to accomplish. I can’t do miracles, but I have to remind myself what freedom means. Freedom means being able to live a life as I want, despite what others would prefer. Learning to know yourself is one of the world’s oldest mysteries, and it’s a freedom that people often ignore or take for granted.

    The second card was Honey and symbolizes the sweetness of life. Showing gratitude can serve as a reminder of what you do have and grounds you in the moment, rather than speculating over what-ifs. It’s one thing to hope for the best and prepare for the worst, but taking count of what’s there can calm fears as you show gratitude.

    The third card was Lady’s Mantle and indicates finding ways of creating sacred spaces. Doing small activities can create sacred in the mundane, a reminder that even in hardships there can be moments of holiness and beauty. I think the idea to read and draw more goes well with this card’s message, but I’m sure other small “rituals” can bring peace of mind as well.

    While the world can seem quite dark and hopeless, I know I have to find respites to re-energize when the news is overwhelmingly negative. Otherwise, events can grind you down and leave you spiritually, mentally, and physically drained, and then you don’t see the need to push on despite everything going on around you. Finding those buoys of hope are essential to staying afloat.

    May you discover what brings gladness and hope in these rough periods of life!

  • The Illuminating Spark: The Miracle of Compassion

    A poem inspired by a miracle of St. Brighid’s.

    (Image description: A photo of a gray, stone statue of two figures embracing. The lower part of the statue forms a heart. Behind the statue is a couple small tree, with more greenery in the distance.) Credit: Photo by Marcel Ardivan on Unsplash

    The Miracle of Compassion

    One early morn,

    as the sun stretched its arms,

    a sister visited You.

    As the soul friend that You are.

    You listened to their plight,

    their tale meant for only Your ears.

    The missed cycle,

    the heavy burden within,

    and the one in their heart.

    You said, hugging them

    it didn’t matter how it happened

    or why it wasn’t to be.

    Her mantle draped ‘round their shoulders,

    the saint’s aid lifting their spirit,

    compassion made manifest.

    Through faith and a blessing

    the child was gone,

    without pain or birth.

    Without judgment or harshness,

    Your kind heart reveals

    the miracle of compassion.

  • The Illuminating Spark: Summer Solstice Reflections

    Reflections at the start of midsummer.

    (Image description: A photo of a sunrise coming up over the horizon. The light is casting trees, fencing, chairs, and a bench in silhouette.) Credit: Photo by Lyle Hastie on Unsplash

    As of this week, this newsletter has been in publication for a year! It’s a small accomplishment, but it’s worth noting on the Summer Solstice!

    As I’ve mentioned before, Polytheistic Monasticism is in its infancy, but it’s certainly developing. I like to learn from other monastics’ paths, as they can help me to understand my own path more.

    I was catching up on Harvest Home Hermitage’s latest YouTube video, and she was discussing discernment while cooking. Discernment is a topic I don’t often reflect upon enough. It’s an important subject that can easily be forgotten in daily life, and I don’t even realize it.

    Trust and change were key components of her discussion. I found myself greatly relating to her statement about wanting to control life’s course but also not excessively worrying about the future. The idea of leaving things up to deities tends to go against my character.

    In a monastic path, there’s work involved but having a sense of certainty that things will work out, one way or another, also comes into play. It’s a difficult concept to accept, but it’s one that’s worth embracing.

    Her video caused me to recall the fid I pulled during Bealtaine, Ór. Since the meanings around that letter are limited to imagery of items like gold, I understood that I needed to focus on things of substance or importance.

    The video gave me an idea of what discernment means and how often to seek it. Checking in during the fire festivals is an appropriate time to see where I need discernment and what form it will take.

    Additionally, trusting Brighid became clearer after watching it, such as when the Faith card in my oracle deck pops up as a reminder.

    Based on the Bealtaine ogam reading, a couple important things to focus on were health and family until I do another reading during Lúnasa. I know these themes matter in general, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they turned up again during future holidays.

    I typically view Bealtaine as the beginning of summer, with the Solstice as its peak. The days will gradually shorten until the dark half of the year comes around again. So far, summer has been unseasonably hot, so it’s hard to really appreciate the turning of the seasons.

    However, I understand that the long, hot days will eventually pass as well. Summer won’t last forever. In the meantime, I will do what I can to value loved ones and do what I can to care for my health. Discernment will continue to be a part of my path, as I delve into what Brighid will direct me to do.

    May the radiance of the sun bless the coming days!

  • The Illuminating Spark: Lectio Divina with Ogam

    My attempt at outlining an ogam-based lectio divina.

    (Image description: A close-up photo of a small, white, and lit pillar candle resting on an open book, with round eyeglasses resting on top of the book. A blue sofa and a person’s legs are seen out of focus in the background.) Credit: Photo by Baptista Ime James on Unsplash

    This post was inspired by a recent discussion on a Facebook group that left me wondering how I would go about connecting with ogam. I like the idea of applying lectio divina (Latin for “sacred reading”) to ogam because I can have issues with following imagery-based meditation.

    What follows is a general outline of something that I think will work for me. I aim for these steps to be as flexible for others as possible, based on how much time is available to you or how casually you want to approach this practice.

    While lectio divina started as a Christian practice, it can be applied to Pagan and Polytheist paths. An inspiration for this post is an essay in Polytheistic Monasticism: Voices from Pagan Cloisters entitled “Druid/Pagan Lectio” by Julie Bond. It centers around connecting with a natural object, but the steps of lectio divina can apply to the study of individual letters as well.

    Preparation:

    Doing lectio divina in a quiet place is important. However, I think it doesn’t have to be in a specific place, as much as it’s a place where you can focus. It can be within your home, outside, a library, or even on public transit, if you’re comfortable with doing so. If you’re comfortable with some soft background sounds, you can add this in as well.

    If you’re inclined to do so, you can ask for a deity’s aid in understanding a letter’s meaning. Based on ogam’s ties to poetry and writing, a couple good options are Brighid or Her uncle, Ogma. Brighid also has some divinatory ties in Her epithet, “Bride of the Augury”. I’m not familiar with working with Ogma, so I would ask Brighid for Her insight. Offerings could be given as part of this stage.

    1. Reading

    In this part, I’m using the word rather loosely here. Pick one or more parts that draw your attention about the particular letter you’re studying. It could be the sound of the letter itself, either done aloud or to yourself. Word kennings are another avenue to look toward. Other parts of of a fid that could be focused on is its associated tree or plant, bird, or even a color (this could be a useful thing for artists). Sit quietly with the particular facet of the letter and just be. It isn’t so much as emptying your mind, but sharing comfortable silence with a concept.

    2. Meditation

    I think this portion could be up to your own interpretation, and I’m only providing some possible methods for doing this. Repeat the letter’s sound over and over in a slow, thoughtful manner. Trace the shape of the letter on a printout or on a device. Ask yourself how a word kenning makes you feel as it dwells in your mind. Does a bird or a tree found in the bird and tree ogams (in the chance you want to adapt these sets to your bioregion) have any personal connections for you? What sensations or emotions come to the forefront?

    3. Prayer

    After the meditation, you can sit in a state of gratitude. However, you might also feel the need to petition a deity, give thanks for your experience, write poetry, or say anything else that’s relevant and wish to express it.

    4. Contemplation

    This section is similar to the beginning. With the heftier portions of the technique done, resting and spending a bit more time with the fid is the point of this step. Thanking it for sharing its wisdom is another good idea. Take your time to come out of the contemplative state and continue with the rest of your day.

    This outline of sorts will act as a guide to keep me focused as I proceed to explore all 25 of the feda. To keep myself from getting off track, a starting duration might be 5 to 10 minutes.

    If ogam isn’t of interest to you, this technique could probably also be used with other divination tools or different languages, real or fictional.

    I hope that these steps will help others, in case they have problems with meditation in general.

  • The Illuminating Spark: Spoonie Spirituality

    A poem centered around spoon theory and my practice.

    (Image description: A photo of a silver-colored spoon with a couple raspberries on it. Two raspberries are to the spoon’s right and one raspberry to its left, all positioned on a rough, wooden surface.) Credit: Photo by Enrico Sottocorna on Unsplash

    In addition to life’s events, I have been having some issues with chronic pain. Naturally, these issues sap my energy and limit how much I can actively do in my practice. While I won’t stop saying prayers, I have to make adjustments in accordance with what my body demands. This poem expresses those limitations and a shift in perspective. I know there’s nothing wrong with the accommodations, but I sometimes have to remind myself of that.

    The title of the poem is a reference to spoon theory, a concept developed by Christine Miserandino to describe how people with chronic illnesses and pain feel. A chronically ill person has a limited source of energy, or spoons, to use throughout their day, and some activities take up more spoons than others. Decisions based on available energy levels influences how much energy is put into activities. People who feel that spoon theory applies to their lives are called spoonies.

    Spoonie Spirituality

    Those days

    when my mind

    my body

    work against me

    Those days

    when my head

    aches like, a hand is

    pressing it against a wall

    My comforter is Your mantle

    the pillows Your shoulder

    the bed my hermitage

    my sanctuary to rest in

    My digital device

    a sacred tome

    as I whisper prayers to You

    a hearth away from my hearth

    Each moment here

    is a spoon laden

    with renewal

    and peace